It has been months since I have blogged…and I have to admit I am not even reading the blogs that much anymore.
My life has drastically changed once again…considering that I am currently 27 weeks pregnant with our second child.
I am beyond excited to meet our new little boy (yes…we are having a boy!!) and feel so incredibly blessed for all of the amazing things in our life.
However, like always, I come back to the blog when I am facing a struggle with my health and eating habits.
Stopping running for me, while some can run during their entire pregnancy, is a no-brainer. However, the decision to not run while pregnant has taken its toll.
Physically I have done really well, tracking my nutrition and calories to have a completely healthy pregnancy. I have been gaining as I should, but slowly and in a healthy way. As of about 24 weeks, I had gained approximately 10 pounds. I was thrilled with this since I think with my daughter I gained 12-15 in the first trimester!
However, the last month, I have started to derail.
It started with some halloween candy (always in moderation at first of course) and turned into numerous (I mean NUMEROUS) major old school binge sessions.
It feels terrible and it is that out of control feeling creeping back into my life, after so many months of feeling relatively good.
I am trying to get to the bottom of it…
why I feel like I can’t get back on track
why I have tried starting over so many times only to fall (and fail) time and time again
why with my husband’s loving support, I get angry at him
why I continue to sneak food and hide from others how much I eat
why I feel this urgency to eat really fast and shovel it in before someone tells me to stop.
I don’t know.
I’m lost…for now.
But looking for answers. Looking for clarity. Looking for a TRUE fresh start.
Hopefully I find it all soon.