So I flew home this weekend (home is upstate NY) for a good friend’s wedding…and it was really great! I prepped myself by listening to hypnosis/relaxation tracks on my ipod that were supposed to help me…but I found that my own mantra helped more than anything I heard on the Fear of Flying tape.
What is happening right now is not scary. What is happening right now is totally normal and not scary…and a crazy person could even say it is almost relaxing. If the plane was to start dropping out of the sky, i have every right to be scared, but what is happening right now is not scary.
That was my mantra and it worked and I feel empowered. This fear will not take over me. I will not let it. I did use some of the breathing exercises when I got nervous but mostly I kept telling myself my mantra, What is happening right now is not scary and it worked! Fear is very powerful and very real, but it is truly mental and exists only in your head…which technically means it can be controlled.
I am not over my fear of flying. I know I will be nervous when I fly again, but I also know I can handle it and the fear is not going to keep getting progressively worse. My mother and my sister have a fear of flying and so does my mother in law, so I know how real it can be and how scary it can feel and most importantly how it can affect your life.
I will not let it affect my life. I will still travel by airplane. I will continue to experience new things because of the freedom that being able to fly gives me. I will conquer this fear.
Sidenote – dieting has not been going well. Being at the wedding this weekend involved traveling (which means I get a free pass with eating for some unknown reason) and yummy wedding food and cake (mmmmm…my FAVORITE). Plus, we put on a friend’s mini-bridal shower tonight and I made homemade cupcakes. I had made a pact that I was not going to bake for the next few months – no matter what. But then they complimented my baking and asked if I could bring some “goodies” to the shower so how could I say no???
But alas, I know I cannot bake without eating some of what I bake…and that means batter, frosting, and finished product…so by the time the cupcakes were actually done, I had already had the equivalent of 3 or 4. No good. I have such a large number of triggers that make me go off…and when I go off, I go off big time. always. and i don’t know why or how to stop. I just know that I allow it to happen.
Joe and I say that we are “starting hardcore” tomorrow…but we also don’t have groceries yet since we flew back from NY on Sunday night so already I feel like I am making excuses for why I can’t have a healthy breakfast or anything good to pack for lunch. Maybe if I plan it out right now, I can stay on track.
I will have eggs for breakfast. I will order a salad for lunch. I will have the breaded fish for dinner with Joe. Not the greatest day because I know that I would probably go over points-wise if I were to really count it. But it is a start and that is what I need right now.
Does anyone else self sabotage and make excuses for why it is okay to “go off” like I do? What do you do to stop yourself in those times?