I’ve been doing a lot of pushups lately. My husband swears that they are the perfect exercise. He is always telling me how many muscles I can work just by doing a pushup.
So, I’ve been doing them. A lot of them.
I started with the girl pushups on my knees.
Then progressed to doing pushups leaning against a table.
Now I can do 15 actual, real, correct form pushups in a row.
I know, I barely believe it myself!
But, the best part is, this is the first time in my life that I have been able to see muscles in my arm. I have a lot of what I refer to as “collateral damage”…the leftover skin that comes along for the ride when you go from 235 pounds down to 142 pounds and at my current post baby weight of 159. But you know what? I don’t care! You can see my muscle even with all of the extra skin!!
I used to focus on the negative parts of me, even after losing the weight equivalent to that of a petite woman. Sure, I was proud. But when I looked in the mirror, I still saw flabby thighs. When I bent over, I still had floppy skin hanging down from my stomach. When I tried to wear knee high boots, I still had trouble zipping them up over my calves (yes, even at 142!) And when I wore my wedding dress, I still had the issue of the turkey wattle skin hanging from under my arms.
In a way, I felt defeated.
I had spent years losing this weight and keeping it off and yet I still didn’t have the body I had dreamed of.
In another way, I felt liberated.
Once I realized I would never/could never be perfect, I stopped being so dang hard on myself!
It has forced me to love the person that I am…not the person I hope to be.
Sure, I want to keep working on bettering myself and I fully believe in pushing yourself beyond what you thought you were capable of. I don’t shoot for perfect anymore though.
And I can be proud of the muscles I have EARNED
without focusing on the skin.