Tag Archives: binge

Preparation for a Change

So yesterday wasn’t a total win…
But it wasn’t a total loss either.

I ate things that I did not want to eat
(a piece of pizza instead of the lunch I had planned)

And had a slight binge
( five 90 calorie special k cereal bars that don’t even taste that good)

But

I tracked everything. All 61 points of it.

Yes, double my daily allotment of points.

There are some things I’m feeling positive about this morning, however.

First off, I went grocery shopping yesterday and have really made strides in transitioning my fridge and pantry over to more real food and cutting out processed foods.

Btw-I am amazed at how much I think I already know about healthy living but really still have to learn. Just reading the ingredient list on things is so eye opening. And I’ve always looked at nutritional info and ingredients on things I buy, rather obsessively, but now the ingredient list holds more weight than how many calories or how many points something may be.

Having lots of good-for-me options is an empowering way to start my day (though by no means foolproof).

Second, I have already mapped out my food for today and I’m committing to sticking to that plan.

Third, my sister is coming when she gets out of work and we’re doing one of the Fit Mama workouts I used to do 2 years ago…when I was in the best shape of my life and training for my half marathon.

I feel prepared today.

One day at a time.

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Feeling Lost

It has been months since I have blogged…and I have to admit I am not even reading the blogs that much anymore.

My life has drastically changed once again…considering that I am currently 27 weeks pregnant with our second child.

I am beyond excited to meet our new little boy (yes…we are having a boy!!) and feel so incredibly blessed for all of the amazing things in our life.

However, like always, I come back to the blog when I am facing a struggle with my health and eating habits.

Stopping running for me, while some can run during their entire pregnancy, is a no-brainer. However, the decision to not run while pregnant has taken its toll.

Physically I have done really well, tracking my nutrition and calories to have a completely healthy pregnancy. I have been gaining as I should, but slowly and in a healthy way. As of about 24 weeks, I had gained approximately 10 pounds.  I was thrilled with this since I think with my daughter I gained 12-15 in the first trimester!

However, the last month, I have started to derail.

It started with some halloween candy (always in moderation at first of course) and turned into numerous (I mean NUMEROUS) major old school binge sessions.

It feels terrible and it is that out of control feeling creeping back into my life, after so many months of feeling relatively good.

I am trying to get to the bottom of it…

why I feel like I can’t get back on track

why I have tried starting over so many times only to fall (and fail) time and time again

why with my husband’s loving support, I get angry at him

why I continue to sneak food and hide from others how much I eat

why I feel this urgency to eat really fast and shovel it in before someone tells me to stop.

I don’t know.

I’m lost…for now.

But looking for answers. Looking for clarity. Looking for a TRUE fresh start.

Hopefully I find it all soon.

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A Homemade Halloween…keeping the tradition alive!

The last few weeks have been full of stress and change…and I am just beginning to get settled.

The (2nd) new job is going really well and

I wasn’t sure I would like it, but turns out, I really do!

I’ve turned a corner with the eating healthy and working out…and am feeling really good.

I have to say, I think it had something to do with blogging about it…

since I started doing better right after my last post.

Maybe it is that acknowledgement that I am getting scarily close to rock bottom?

Okay, well maybe I wasn’t that bad,

but I do get flashes of myself at this weight:

and typically that really puts a scare into me…

since I know I don’t want to go back there again.

But anyway, all is good now.

Quick recap of the steps I took that I believe led to me getting back on track:
1) Finding a support system – I’ve recruited some girls here in my new home to work out with me. Yes, having my husband to work out with is great…but the accountability of having to show up to work out with a friend usually gets me even more since I can’t whine and complain to them like I can with my hubs! (sorry Joe!!)

2) working out in the morning when I can – this ALWAYS changes my mindset. There is something about getting it done ASAP that just puts an entirely different spin on the entire day.

3) Putting strategies in place to beat my binge triggers – My parents’ house was a tough one, but I just told myself prior to going over there that I was going to get a water as soon as I walked in instead of immediately searching their cupboards for a snack. Sometimes a small victory like that changes the way my mind responds to the trigger…and I feel empowered and don’t WANT to binge. This one still gets me and will continue to be a challenge, but I am working on it.

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On to….

HALLOWEEN!

I love making Halloween costumes!

It was a tradition my dad started when we were kids…and one that I have always said I wanted to carry on with our family.

Last year, I made my 3 month old a flower in a pot…made entirely from scratch (and cheaply I might add!):

Excuse the drool! Lol

Then this year, I decided to make her a little pig…since we already have so much pink!

I am in the process of working on the costume and this is what I have so far:

I used clothes we already had, bought some fuzzy pink yarn, pipe cleaners, felt, and used some velcro that I bought for my classroom.

(That way I don’t ruin her clothes with glue…I can just remove the velcro after Halloween!)

I never like to do just the costume, though…and like to have more to go with it…so I also made her a barn to go on her wagon:

Yes, there is a bale of hay in her wagon to go with it. She’ll ride in there and then come out for trick or treating

(at our friends’ and families’ houses!)

I just started with cardboard boxes and used the magic of scissors, hot glue, spray paint and duct tape.

Here are some in-the-works pics:

I need to add some embellishments…like straw and hay around the outside.

Maybe a stuffed farm animal or two to ride in the wagon with her.

But needless to say, I can’t wait for Halloween now!

UPDATE:

Here is the finished product:

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