Tag Archives: diet

Sweat is Beautiful

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I’m really proud of our workouts we are doing twice a week…I’m usually dripping with sweat when we’re done.
And I love that feeling when it’s not even from a cardio day…but our weights day.
I’m still finding it hard to convince my friends that lifting heavier weights is not going to bulk them up…especially when we’re doing a cardio type circuit training to build muscle strength.

I always have to laugh and I want to tell them how
hard people have to work
how much effort it takes
how heavy my husband lifts at the gym
and the amount of calories he needs to consume
In order to build the muscle he builds.
If it was as easy as benching 20 lb dumbbells, 20 times, twice a week
we’d certainly be surrounded by a lot more buff men!

But old myths die hard…and I can tell deep down, they still are picturing themselves with big bulging muscles!

Anyway, I’ve had one solid week of being back on track…so blogging about it definitely is helping.
Keeps me focused.
Keeps me positive.

This beautiful weather isn’t hurting my positive outlook either! ūüôā

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Diving In

I have had a tough time lately. I’ve been struggling for sure…but at the same time, things have never been better.

My husband¬†and I¬†bought¬†our first¬†house…

Three days ago, I got a new nephew:

My beautiful daughter is more adorable and lovable than ever:

I love my new job.

I have been working out 5 days a week, running 12 miles and doing 2 strength building workouts for the week.

But I am bingeing more than ever…

and I cannot figure out how/why.

 

I had today what I call a “last hurrah”…

in short, one last binge.

I go back and forth always trying to decide if a last binge is actually helpful or hurtful.

I always convince myself that I need the last hurrah…need to get it out of my system.

But part of me feels that the last hurrah is just me taking a big deep breath

before I dive in…

before I start eating healthy and being in control again…

and eventually I am going to have to  come up for air again.

And then what?

 

Deep down I know it is harmful in many ways.

I mean, it is one more binge.

It is that much more bad food going into my body.

It adds fuel to the fire as I indulge in my vice yet again.

 

I want to begin again…

for what feels like the hundredth time

and just like when I quit drinking almost 9 years ago,

as frustrated as I feel when I fail time and time again,

it’s all about trying one more time….

and I can hope and pray that maybe this time will be THE time.

 

As I go through the steps for Overeaters Anonymous in an attempt to gain control,

I realize that I actually need to give up control in order to heal.

I will once again be documenting my journey here…as I know that there are others out¬†there who will relate to what I am going through.

And I will start by taking the time each day to acknowledge what I am truly grateful for today.

I am grateful to God for the life that I get to lead…

for this beautiful view out my window each day:

my ridiculously supportive and understanding husband who somehow does not think I’m crazy, even after watching me go through this vicious¬†cycle time and time again,

my gorgeous daughter,

our continued health and happiness,

an extended family who would do anything for us,

a job I love,

and the good sense to keep starting over.

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Scared of Slipping

As of late, most of my blog posts have been extremely positive and uplifting.

I feel like I have finally found the right path for my journey to health.

I am full of hope and excited about life.

Well, that is partially true.

I would say 90% of me is doing really well. Maybe even 95%.

But there is 5% of me that lets a little bit of self doubt creep in,

the 5% that knows I always slip up.

Sooner or later.

And part of me feels like I am just waiting for that to happen.

 

It does feel different to me this time. It really does.

 

I’ve had a couple of small “slip ups” in the last couple of months where I

*haven’t been mindful of what I’m eating

*have eaten things when I was full or didn’t really want to be eating them

*have done small sneaks of food or taken too many unaccounted for nibbles

but

for the most part, I’ve done a pretty good job being healthy

and it’s been nice to not have guilt play such a big role in my life anymore.

 

 

I feel as though I have turned a corner because my view on things is very different than it used to be.

 

My husband and I are both feeling incredible and much more self confident.

We view this as a life change and not just a temporary diet and exercise plan.

We have eaten out many times and still made healthy, satisfying choices.

We have made it through holidays and birthdays without using that as an excuse to make unhealthy decisions for ourselves.

 

But I also know that when I am doing well, things always seem amazing.

That is why I wrote this a year and a half ago:

Letter to Me

to remind myself why I shouldn’t get lazy and let myself slip up…

why I shouldn’t test myself.

 

I really want to be believe that things are different this time.

I’m confident, but a little scared at the same time.

Only time will tell.

Today I started the day with a great workout and a super healthy, satisfying breakfast.

One day at a time.

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Starting Fresh…AGAIN

I’m not sure how many times I can have a meltdown and start over again…but here I am.

Just as an update, I have been doing really well with my “be healthy for my daughter” campaign. Since she has been born, I have made it through holidays, birthdays, parties, etc…all while continuing to make healthy choices.

Lately, however, I found myself floundering a bit.

And by ‘a bit’, I mean a lot.

I have been getting into the sneaking and hiding of food again. I hide it from my husband. I’m not sure why since I tell him EVERYTHING. I know as I’m sneaking it behind his back or when he’s at work or when he’s in another room giving our daughter a bath that I will tell him. Yet I still sneak.

I know, it makes no sense.

You might say, keep the bad food out of your house so you are not tempted. I would agree that is an invaluable strategy. I would be a mess if my husband were the type to keep cookies, ice cream and so on in our home. And he doesn’t. So I am lucky there. However, I am the MacGuyver of sneaking bad food even when it would appear to normal humans that no such bad food exists.

Example #1:
Do you have Bisquick in your cupboard? I will literally mix plain bisquick mix with milk in a bowl and eat it raw. Who does that? It’s not cookie dough! But I always pick at the biscuit dough when I make biscuits so in my head I guess I figure why not?

Example #2:

How about butter and brown sugar? Standard beginning to chocolate chip cookies. Taste good when I lick my fingers making cookies so why not just mix those 2 together for fun? Yup, I’ve done it.

Example #3:

Frozen pie dough. Back during thanksgiving, I made pies to go to a friend’s house. I was not eating pie so when I had made extra crust I actually put it in my freezer and froze it. Yesterday I took it out, thawed it, mixed it with some sugar apples and baked it. Gross.

Do not be fooled and go make these yourself if you are looking for a cheat. They are gross. They are not satisfying. They just make you feel like crap.

Okay, so I guess I’m no MacGuyver if they don’t even taste that good.

In addition, as I’m doing it, I am telling myself this isn’t good for me and I will feed bad about it when I’m done. I’m telling myself to stop.

And I do. But I don’t.

Last night, during another lengthy discussion with my therapist husband (director of sales/salesman by day, miracle counselor by night), we came down to these conclusions:

1) I care WAAAAY too much what other people think of me. Even my husband. That is why I sneak food and hide what I eat from others, even though it has no bearing on them and only hurts me. I am working on making decisions based on what is good for me.

2) My low self esteem and lack of self confidence continues to haunt me. For some reason, I tell myself that I am not good enough and don’t deserve the happiness that eating well and living right will bring me. I punish myself by sabotaging my success.

3) I usually self sabotage as a “test” of sorts when I am doing particularly well with eating healthy. It’s as if I say to myself, “Oh ya? You think you are strong? Let’s see about that.” And there is no way to pass that test.

So now that we came up with these conclusions, what am I doing about it?

Well I actually do have a pretty good plan right now and feel like I’ve got a fighting chance. Back when I originally lost all of my weight, I used to do nightly prayers that covered all of the things I was grateful for and all of the things I was asking for God’s help with. I was very specific and I said these prayers every single night for at least the first year. I truly believe these prayers and affirmations were what got me through.

So I am asking for God’s help again.

*Please God give me strength to not worry about what others think of me.

*Please God give me strength to allow my opinion of myself to come from me and not from others.

*Please help me to gain self confidence.

And thanking him for the blessings in my life, big and small:

*Thank you for the knowledge of good health and will power that has led to a healthier me and that allows me to be a better example for my daughter.

*Thank you for the strength and will power to make healthy choices for myself and my family for ____ days.

*Thank you for showing me that I can take control of my life.

These, along with all of my other prayers, are written down in a notebook. I have a list of prayers, a list of things I’m thanking God for and a list of things I am asking forgiveness for. Those are my three “Everyday Lists”…the standards. Then I also have a prayer list of people/things that need God at this time. This list will be ever-changing as prayers are answered or are no longer needed. I find it so hard to remember to take time to pray and often say I will pray for something and then forget. I don’t want to do that anymore. Having a prayer list ensures that the things I need to pray for will not be forgotten.

I have been needing to get my life back on track in a couple of different ways. I am feeling confident and strong that I am capable of doing it today.

Thank you God for allowing me to get through today making good choices for my life!

One day at a time…

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What a difference a year makes…

It’s been almost a year since my last post, but I’m back…and in a¬†totally different place than where I started!

Approximately one year ago, I started this blog. After only two months of blogging, this happened:

 

9 months after that, this happened:

 

And now 3 months later (and present day), here is my beautiful daughter:

 

Motherhood has been amazing…and I love my new job as a stay at home mom.

But…

the funny thing is, as I go back  and reread my posts from a year ago, as much as I know parts of my life are entirely new, I realize I am

RIGHT

BACK

WHERE

I

STARTED.

funny, huh?

I guess putting on 40 pounds of baby weight can do that to you! I have already dropped 25 since the delivery, but I would like to take off another 25 to get down to a healthy weight again. (If you notice my math is off, it’s because I put on an extra ten pounds after my wedding, before I got pregnant.) I’ve also learned that “myth” about how losing weight¬†gets harder as you get older is actually true.

Huh.  Who knew?

I have an increased¬†motivation to really conquer my issues now…I really want to be a strong and positive influence on my daughter. If I¬†sneak food, she is going to learn to hide her eating. If I eat to reward or comfort myself, she will learn to use food for the same reasons.¬†If I focus too much on my flaws, my daughter will focus on hers. If I complain about exercise, my daughter may become a couch potato. If I am afraid to fly, my daughter may have the same nerves as she steps onto a plane.

But, on the flip side…

If I exude confidence in who I am, my daughter will believe in herself.

If I eat for nutrition and not for comfort, my daughter will grow up with healthy eating habits.

If I value exercising with my family, my daughter will enjoy being active.

 

Children do not do what you say…they do what you DO.

If I want her to be healthy…both in terms of her self image as well as physically…then I need to be healthy.

¬†There is more at stake now…and I think that will be the difference.

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Quick Update

So I have been somewhat slacking on the blogging lately…probably because I have been busy…in addition to the fact that I am so new that I don’t have many readers yet. But I want to plug along. I have seen how influential other blogs have been for me, as these individuals document their journey…and I hope to do the same for someone else…

if they ever stumble across this site!

 

The Best Life Diet by Bob Greene Рsome thoughts

  • It’s been going GREAT! I have never eaten so much yummy food, felt entirely satisfied and lost weight. EVER.

 

  • I cheated and weighed myself. oops. I have already lost 6 pounds! I was sure that I hadn’t lost any, but was super excited when I saw that it was working!

 

  • I’ve learned that this diet, for the first month, is about refocusing how you view food and getting into healthy habits. My recommended calorie intake (from their site) was 1800 a day. I adjusted it to 1700 but still…that is waaaaaay higher than any diet has ever recommended for me. Usually it is closer to 12 or 1300! As we refocus our thoughts on eating, I don’t think they want us to feel any sort of deprivation. But the choices I have been making for those 1800 calories (I’m not gonna lie, I’ve had a tough time sticking to 1700 knowing that the site recommended 1800…I’m so bad) have all been incredible, healthy food choices. No junk. I guess at times it can be more simple than I thought! Healthy food can be delicious!

 

  • The Best Life Breakfasts are HUGE!!! Oh my gosh…the recommended breakfasts are like 350 – 400 calories EACH DAY! But you sort of eliminate the snacking. They recommend one healthy snack a day outside of meals, but pretty much your calories should come from the meals…and the meals are so filling that it works! I am not hungry in between meals at all.

 

  • I am eating healthy foods, but yummy ones, too! The other night I had a salad loaded with great veggies and then had a small 1 cup side of pasta. I used Barilla plus pasta which is loaded with nutrients. I sauted some cherry tomatoes and basil in some EVOO and then mixed the rotinis in. Then I sprinkled some fresh parmesan cheese in. It was a great side and for once, the pasta didn’t have to be a huge bowl. It felt like a treat! Here is a pic:

 

Even my husband thought it was delicious!salad pasta

So today I want to try out some new recipes…

Breakfast – Scrambled eggs (Better ‘n Eggs) with chopped cherry tomatoes and chopped mushrooms sprinkled with basil and freshly grated parmesan cheese; 1 yoplait light strawberry yogurt; 1 slice of whole wheat toast with light butter (SEE I TOLD YOU IT WAS A TON OF FOOD!!)

Lunch – Roasted Eggplant and Onion Sandwich with Arugula and Chicken and a small side salad with balsamic vinegar and EVOO

 

Dinner – Flank Steak with Sweet Potatoes and a small side salad

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Bob Greene’s Best Life Diet

So whenever I get bored, I try something new.

 

And…

guess what…

I’m bored.

 

I have been floundering since my wedding, going back and forth with different eating habits. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good. But what I have realized is that even the good was not so good.

 

I was not being mindful of my health.

I was eating full fat foods that are not good for my heart.

I was not exercising.

I was just not healthy.

 

I am trying soooo¬†hard to think more about my actual¬†health and not just losing weight. And the new approach I am trying is really an old approach…and in reality what both Weight Watchers and the South Beach Diet preach that you should be eating.

 

Whole Grains

Fruits

Vegetables

Low fat/Non fat dairy Products

Lean proteins

lots of water

and…

duh…duh duh DUH!

EXERCISE!

Oh I have been so lazy. I mean, incredibly Lazy with a capital L. My husband and I used to be great about going to the gym. Not every single solitary night, but often. And we did good workouts. A mix of hard cardio and weight training, circuits, running…whatever floated our boat at the time. We changed it up, but we remained fairly consistent for the first few years.

Then we got married.

Isn’t it so cliche? We have been so lazy since then. And the funny part is that we weren’t really dieting/exercising for the wedding. I mean, we did for the wedding, too. But it started long before then. We were just mindful of our health.

 

But I’m back into it.

This morning, I got up to walk for 30 minutes. And whaddya know…the hubs got up with me! We had a nice walk and I am so appreciative of our time together. Today is our 4 month anniversary and I love him more than anything in the world. I am very lucky to have him and morning walks like today are nice reminders of how blessed we are.

 

But back to the Best Life diet. There are some rules. No trans fats, no fried foods, eat a Best Life breakfast to start your day (any of their recommended breakfast ideas is encouraged) and then a lunch, dinner and snack that is based on making good choices. Daily multivitamin. Exercise 60 minutes a week. I like it. It’s DOable.

 Weigh yourself the first day and then not again for a month.

I LOVE that.

My husband said, “I’ve been saying¬†you should stop weighing yourself every day for the longest time. Now you’re gonna do it cause Bob Greene says so? I oughtta write a book!”

But it really is so freeing. It is not about losing really this month. It is more about developing healthy eating habits.

 

So I am going to be spending way more money at the grocery store, but I’m okay with it as long as I am sticking with the plan and feeling satisfied. It’s only money.

I am also going to be trying out a ton of new recipes…and that part I am a little overwhelmed by, but also super excited! I LOVE to try new recipes…so if they are healthy ones, all the better!

 

Tomorrow’s breakfast:¬†

a strawberry smoothie (1 cup vanilla soymilk, 1 cup frozen strawberries, 2 tbsp ground flaxseeds)

It sounds yummy and totally different than my norm.

Change is good.

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